I’ve been seeing a therapist, and he’s helped me see more clearly some important things. Shame, guilt, fear, and postponement are all strategies to avoid feeling things like, “I’m a failure. I’m a fraud. I’m not capable.”
The trick is to cut through these outer layers, and expose the true pain. In exposing the pain, it will thaw, and the outer layers will melt away.
Strategies to begin the thaw? Exposure. Communicating with our partners, friends, workmates, and important people in our lives things like “I’m having difficulty with [whatever]…” when we actually are having difficulties. It’s far better than allowing avoidance to creep in, and making a small bump in the road turn into a giant mountain.